IBINTU BY’INGIRAKAMARO MU MIBANIRE Y’ABASHAKANYE.
- Urukundo.
Urikundo ni inkingi ya mwamba hagati y’abashakanye, kuko umuryango wubakiye ku rukundo. Iyo hagati yabo ntarukundo ruhari, ntakabuza umuryango urasenyuka kuko icyo wakagombye kuba wubakiyeho kidahari. Urukundo rukenewe ni urukundo rw’ukuri atari rwarundi ruvugwa ku rurimi gusa kandi mu mutima rutarimo. Uru rukundo kandi rukenewe hano si rwa rundi rugaragarira mu nzu gusa maze bagera hanze mu bandi bakamera nkabataziranye, umwe akaba adashaka kwegerana n’undi. Ahubwo urukundo rukenewe ni rwa rukundo rugaragarira buri wese ku buryo aho muri hose mugaragara nk’abakundana by’ukuri.K’uburyo kandi mubera urugero abandi.
- Kurinda ikizere wagiriwe.
Gufata icyemezo ukiyemeza kubana n’umuntu nk’umugore n’umugabo, ni ibintu bisaba kwitonda,gushishoza,….no kugirira uwo mugiye kubana ikizere. Mugore rero kuba umugabo yaraguhisemo mubandi bakobwa, ni uko yakugiriye ikizere. Wituma rero cya kizere wagiriwe kigabanuka.Wakagombye gutekereza ukanibaza impamvu yatumye umugabo wawe aca ku bakobwa bose harimo nabeza kukurusha,akaza kureba wowe.Ntayindi mpamvu ni uko yakubonyemo umuntu wamubera umufasha akakwizera akakuzana mu rugo ngo mukomezanye ubuzima musigaranye. Gerageza kurinda ikizere wagiriwe kugira ngo utazatuma umugabo wawe yiheba. Mugabo nawe kuba umugore yaremeye ko umubera umugabo,ni uko yakwizeye akakurutisha abandi bahungu benshi bamushakaga.Wituma rero umugore wawe yicuza ahubwo mwereke ko kuba yarakwemeye akanakwizera ntagihombo yagize ntanicyo azagira.
- Kubahana.
Ubusanzwe umuntu wese,akunda kubahwa no kubahirwa uko ameze nicyo aricyo.Mu mibanire y’umugabo n’umugore rero naho hagomba kuba ubwubahane hagati yabo. Urugo rwabuzemo ubwubahane hagati y’umugabo n’umugore,urwo rugo ntakabuza ruba ruri hafi yo gusenyuka.Abashakanye bagirwa inama yo kubahana hagati yabo.Umugabo akubaha umugore,umugore nawe akubaha umugabo we. Umugabo n’umugore bagirwa inama yo:
– Kwigengesera hagati yabo.
– Umugabo ntatuke umugore we n’umugore ntatuke umugabo we.
– Kudakorerana ibikorwa bitarimo ikinyabupfura baba bari bonyine cyangwa bari mu bandi.
– Kudasebanya hagati yabo ngo umwe asebye mugenzi we.Kabone n’ubwo baba bari kwikinira cyangwa gutebya.
– Kudatukana hagati yabo baba bari bonyine cyangwa bari mu bandi.
– Kudahimana hagati yabo.
– Umwe kudashyira inenge z’undi kukarubanda.
-Kudahimbana cyangwa ngo bahamagarane amazina mabi.
– Kudaterana amagambo baba bari bonyine cyangwa bari mubandi.
– Kutannyegana hagati yabo kabone n’ubwo baba bari kwikinira(badakomeje).
– Gusezeranaho igihe umwe agiye no gusuhuzanya igihe agarutse.
- Kutiyumvisha ko kuba mwarabanye byarangiye utagikeneye kumwitaho nka mbere.
Ni kenshi usanga hagati yabashakanye iyo bamaze kubana,umwe aba atakitaye ku wundi. Usanga uko bari bameranye mbere bakirambagizanya bihita bihinduka k’uburyo niba hari nk’impano,kwita k’uwo ukunda,umwanya wamuhaga,amagambo meza wamubwiraga,ubwiza wamubonagaho,uko wamutinyaga unamwubaha,uko washimishwaga no kuba muri kumwe, ibyo umwe yageneraga undi mbere batarabana,urukundo wamukundaga,amazina wamwitaga,…ugasanga hafi ya byose byaragabanutse cyangwa byarahagaze. Abashakanye rero kugirango bagire urugo rwiza rurangwamo ibyishimo,bagirwa inama yo gukomeza kubana nk’uko bari bameze bakirambagizanya,byaba nangombwa bakabyongera.
- Kwemera ikosa no kumenya gusaba imbabazi.
Ni kenshi hagati y’abashakanye hagaragara amakosa yaba manini cyangwa mato. Kugira ngo rero umubano hagati y’abashakanye ukomeze kugenda neza ni uko uwakoze ikosa azaryemera akanarisabira imbabazi kandi abikuye ku mutima atari byabindi byo gusaba imbabazi mu rwego rwo kwikiza uwo wakoshereje. Ni kenshi umwe mu bashakanye ashobora gukora ikosa agakomeza kwihagararaho avuga ko ariko byari bikwiye kugenda cyangwa akerekana ko ntacyo bitwaye. Mu gihe ibyo bintu bikomeje gutyo,nibwo uzasanga mu rugo hahora intonganya n’ubwumvikane buke kuko umwe abona undi nk’umunyamakosa kandi akaba ayakora abishaka.Kugira ngo hagati y’abashakanye haboneke amahoro,urukundo no kwizerana,abashakanye bagirwa inama yo kubabarirana no kubazanya hagati yabo igihe umwe agiye kugira icyo akora akaba atazi niba ari ikosa, kudategereza gusaba imbabazi igihe ikosa ryamenyekanye ahubwo agasaba imbabazi akimara gukora ikosa,kumenya gusaba imbabazi igihe bigaragaye ko ibyo yakoze ari amakosa no kwiyemeza kutazongera kurikora ukundi.
