- Kudacana inyuma.
Guca inyuma uwo mwashakanye n’icyaha gikomeye kandi cyangiza umubano w’abashakanye. Iyo umwe aciye inyuma uwo bashakanye biba byerekana ko uwo muntu usanze aruta umugore we cyangwa umugabo we, ibyo rero bibabaza uwaciwe inyuma kuko aba yamurutishije abandi.
Abashakanye bagirwa inama yo kureka ingeso mbi nkiyo, umugabo akamenya ko atari impfizi y’aho atuye n’umugore nawe akamenya ko atari umugore wa rusange uhurirwaho n’abagabo batandukanye. Ahubwo buri wese akamenya ko afite inshinga zo kurinda ibanga ry’undi kandi akamenya ko guca inyuma uwo bashakanye ari ukwisuzuguza no kwitesha agaciro haba imbere y’uwo bashakanye,kuri we ubwe n’imbere y’abandi bantu muri rusange.
- Kunyurwa.
Kimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi mu mibanire y’abashakanye ni ukunyurwa.Umugabo akwiye kunyurwa n’umugore we,umugore nawe akanyurwa n’umugabo we kugira ngo babane bishimiranye kandi bubahana. Abashakanye kandi cyane cyane k’uruhande rw’umugore bagirwa inama yo kuryurwa n’ibyo batunze cyangwa bagezeho kuko igihe bataranyurwa nibyo bafite, ntibazigera banyurwa n’ibindi bazabona kuko bazajya bahora babona ko ibyo bafite bitabanyuze bibe byanatuma bajya gushaka ibindi bintu rimwe na rimwe banabishake munzira zitaboneye.
- Kuvugisha ukuri.
Ukuri ni ikintu cy’ingenzi mu mibanire y’abashakanye kuko igihe hagati yabo hatarangwamo ukuri, nta kabuza bazabana nta byishimo no kwizerana bafitanye, maze ibyo bibe byatuma habaho gukorerana amakosa hagati yabo kubera ko batizerana. Kubwizanya ukuri rero nibyo bizatuma abashakanye bubaka rugakomera kandi bakabana ntawishisha undi. Abashakanye bagirwa inama yo kubwizanya ukuri muri byose kugira ngo babashe kubana mu mahoro no mu byishimo.
- Kwihangana
Iyi si dutuyeho ni isi y’ibigeragezo aho uwari umukire ejo yisanga yakennye, uwari muzima ejo akisanga yarwaye, uwari ufite imico myiza ejo agahinduka, uwari mwiza ejo ugasanga ubwiza bwe bwangiritse, uwari ufite imbaraga n’ububasha ejo ugasanga byagabanutse cyangwa byashize n’ibindi nk’ibyo.
Abashakanye rero bagirwa inama yo kwihangana igihe habaye impinduka nk’izo, bakanagirwa inama kandi yo gukundana haba mu bibi no mu byiza kuko nibyo bizatuma bakomeza kubana neza igihe habaye impinduka nk’izo. Ntibakwiye kubana mu byiza gusa maze ngo igihe bageze mu bibi batandukane kuko urukundo ntago rugaragarira mu byiza gusa ahubwo urukundo rukwiye no kugaraga igihe bageze muri bya bihe bikomeye aho basabwa kwihangana maze urukundo rwabo ntiruhungabanywe n’ibibazo bibateye cyangwa se bibaziye.
- Isuku
Mu mibanire y’abashakanye ku kijyanye n’isuku byamaze kugaragara ko uko abashakanye baba bameze mu rugo atariko baba bameze hanze. Ibyo bigaragarira cyane cyane ku bagore ku kijyanye no kwambara no kwisiga aho igihe bafite gahunda yo kujya nko gusura abantu, gutembera, mu birori n’ahandi bisiga bakambara imyenda myiza cyane bagakora uko bashoboye bagasa neza kurusha uko basanzwe bameze ariko bagaruka mu rugo bagahita bakuramo ya myenda myiza bakambara imyenda mibi rimwe narimwe icitse cyangwa yanduye (ikunze kwitwa imyenda yo gukorana).
Umugore rero akwiye kumenya ko muri ibyo byose bituma yambara neza, nta nakimwe kiruta umugabo we akaba akwiye kugira isuku kuri byose akambara neza, akisiga agasokoza neza yaba ari mu rugo cyangwa hanze yarwo kandi byose akabikora kugirango ashimishe anubahishe umugabo we. Agirwa inama kandi ko igihe yambaye imyenda isanzwe yo gukorana akagerageza akayambara imeshe kandi agahinduranya, igihe adafite ubushobozi buhagije bwo kugura imyenda myinshi akwiye kugerageza na wa wundi umwe afite akawugirira isuku. Akwiye kandi kugira isuku y’umubiri akoga,agasokoza,agasukura abana no mu rugo, ibyo byose akabikora afatanyije n’umugabo we.
Umugabo nawe ni uko ntakwiye kwambara neza gusa igihe afite urugendo ari bugemo maze ngo nagaruka ahite yambara imyenda mibi icitse cyangwa itameshe kandi afite imyiza myinshi. Abashakanye rero bagirwa inama yo kugira isuku kugira ngo babane neza bafite ubuzima bwiza kandi babane buri wese yishimiye undi. Ibyo bizatuma n’abana babo babigiraho kuko nabo niwo muryango wejo hazaza.
